I've lived so many lifetimes in just this one! I've changed and grown so much as a person. With Nam Myoho Renge Kyo, I have learned to face myself, and challenge my karma head on, and radically change my life by doing my own Human Revolution! This blog is a record of some of it.
I also post things that interest me, sometimes NSFW. I'm into rockabilly, mens fashion, art, gardening, cooking, and whatever else strikes my fancy at the moment.
Every morning, she sprays this horrible perfume that smells like old lady stink. She constantly needs to talk about “boundaries”. She brags all of the time about all of the physical activity that she does, meanwhile, she weighs like 300 lbs. She just turned the air on, and it’s only April! 7 more months can’t come fast enough!
Hey @thebluebeards my mate tom loves your stuff ! #haircut #uppercutdeluxe #pomade @uppercutdeluxe
My Great Grandmother, who I loved deeply taught me around age 3 to turn from the window when changing. I eventually became so comfortable with my body, that I didn’t care, then wise enough to understand that it was beyond my comfort.
Than I became uncomfortable as I transitioned. As I get closer to getting top surgery, I become more dysphoric.
I finally am at a closer point to having a consult, and likely surgery in a few months. (have to make consult, but have funds).
I notice all of the ways that I’ve adjusted. I know exactly how to place my arms to avoid even a shadow as I cross. I avoid others on days that I think my binder isn’t performing to it’s best. I avoid exercise. Although, recently, I’ve been rediscovering cycling because it has me in a bent over posture and I feel my chest is less prominate.
I long to be the boy that I was before puberty hit. The boy who his mother used to have to chase down with a shirt to the pool.
After surgery, I will be so happy to be free again. To be able to recieve a hug without wondering if the person felt my binder rather than feel their hug.
After surgery, I will be able to accept a playful punch to the chest by peers without wondering what they felt.
After surgery, I will be able to date, and discover my own sexuality. (I’ve been celibate about 3 years). I feel that my current body holds me back sexually.
Maybe this is all TMI? I don’t know, show it some love so I know..